Ruff. Hi. I’m Ronnie. I’m not a dog, but I have a dog, and I like dogs. Not: I like dog. I don’t want to eat a dog. No, actually I would eat a dog if you gave it to me. If you barbequed it, I’d eat it. But, oh, we’re not talking about eating dogs. We’re going to talk about how to actually not eat your dog, how to care for your dog. In English and in our society we call our dog our best friends, although it really has no choice. Even if your dog doesn’t like you, it has to hang out with you a lot because you have to care for your dog. So, I’m going to teach you English vocabulary, English verbs for caring for your dog. Hopefully you can learn some stuff. You probably know it in your language, but now you’re going to learn English with me because that’s what I do. So, the first thing that we should talk about is someone called a “breeder”. Okay? A breeder is a person who breeds dogs. So, I’ve written the word “breeds” here as a verb.
Now, to breed a dog means that you get the boy dog who’s called a stud and you get the girl dog who’s called a bitch, and you make them have sex. I don’t know how they do this, maybe they give them some doggy wine, play some nice doggy music, but anyways, the boy dog and the girl dog have dog sex, doggy style – and they have puppies.
Woo-hoo. So the breeder is the person who cares for the dogs and makes more dogs. They’re magical. It is a really, really bad idea, almost illegal in Canada to buy a dog from the “pet shop”. We have really tried to cut down on dogs who are for sale in pet shops. Just the treatment of the dogs, there’s been a lot of controversy. Also, you can find a dog on the internet, you can go to Kijiji or you can go to many websites where you can buy a dog. There’s also dog rescue sites where maybe a dog doesn’t have a house, a dog is homeless, and you can rescue the dog and make him your… Or her your best friend. So there’s many options. I do not recommend the pet shop option, but make sure that your dog is going to be… You’re going to be able to take care of a dog before you get one.
So, the place where the dogs or the puppies live and where they have all their doggy sex is called a “kennel”. So the kennel is the place, and the breeder is the person. You can use both of these words interchangeably, but a breeder is always a person. It’s important that you go and look at the kennel when you’re buying a dog to make sure that it’s clean and the dogs are well taken care of. There’s some terrible-looking kennels I imagine. The next person that you’re not going to want to go to and your dog is going to hate more than the mailman is the “veterinarian”.
Now, in English we don’t need to bother saying: “Veterinarian”, which is an animal doctor. What we need to say is: “Vet”. So you’re going to say: “Uh-oh, I have to take my dog to the vet”, because maybe your dog is sick. Vets in Canada and probably around the world, America as well, are very, very expensive. So we don’t want our dogs to be sick because it costs us a lot of money. But there is one thing that people or breeders really encourage you to do if you have gotten a puppy and you’re not going to breed the dog, you’re not going to have… Make more baby dogs with this. That’s a whole other business. So, for this you’re going to do what we call “get your dog fixed”. Your dog is not broken, don’t worry, it’s not a toy. So: “Get your dog fixed”, you’re going to go to the vet, you’re going to go to the animal doctor and what’s happened… What’s going to happen is you’re going to get your animal neutered. “Neutered” means… We have two different meaning… Two different words we use for this.
For the boys or for the studs, neutered means “castrated”. Oh, gentlemen, gentlemen, this means they’re going to remove the dog’s testicles so the dog cannot produce sperm to have little puppies. Don’t worry, I’m sure the dog doesn’t feel anything, and when he wakes up he is very happy because he has less balls to lick. So, “castrated” is only for boys and they remove the testicles. The word that we use for women, or sorry, girls or bitches, mm-hmm, is “spayed”. Now, watch out, oh hey, Ronnie’s saying a bad word. “Bitches” is really… The meaning, the dictionary meaning of a bitch is a female dog, so I’m not saying a bad word; I’m teaching you the right word. And what happens if you get your bitch spayed? You… The doctor, not you, removes the ovaries. So the ovaries are the reproductive organs of the female dog. So, “neutered” is what we use for both male and female, but to be more specific: “castrated”, removal of the testicles is for the man, and “spayed” is for the girl.
So, once your dog is neutered or spayed it means it can’t make any more puppies. It’s probably a good thing. I know in some countries, for example, Mexico, there is a big problem with a lot of street dogs because people simply don’t get their dog neutered and there’s so many dogs, and they don’t have owners and they’re homeless, and it’s really sad. We’re not going to talk about that. We’re going to go into a list of things you should do, almost you must do if you want your dog to be alive and be your best friend. The first one is when you go to the vet you have to get “shots”. Don’t shoot the dog, I’m not saying that. These are vaccinations. This means you vaccinate your dog against diseases, just like we do with humans, hello. So they get shots so they don’t contract diseases and die, that’s fun. Don’t want your dog to die, that’s the point. First of all, you have to “take your dog for a walk”.
Now, maybe in your language you say: “Walk with my dog”, but in English we just say: “I have to take my dog for a walk.” We have a funny expression. So, if you take your dog for a walk it means you are in control of your dog and you’re walking down the street, but if you have a dog like I have a dog, we have a joke that says: “Are you walking your dog, or is your dog walking you?” This means your dog is out of control, and: “Ah, I’m going to go over here, I’m going to go over here!” My dog does that. When my dog walks with my husband, my husband is walking the dog. When my dog walks with me-mm-hmm-guess what? Yup, my dog is definitely walking me. It’s fun. I need to get out more I think. Sometimes if I’m really lucky he takes me to the “dog park”, woo. Oh, no, no, no. Sorry. Sorry, I got this wrong. I take him to the dog… Yes, I definitely take him to the dog park because I’m driving. Unfortunately he can’t drive yet. I’ve tried. He’s just too short to reach the pedals.
So, you can take your dog to a dog park. I live in Toronto and we’re lucky enough to have many dog parks around the city. Maybe your… You have dog parks in your countries, the dogs run around and play. My dog unfortunately just thinks it’s cool to run up and attack other dogs. He’s not friendly, so yeah, dog park is not very fun for him. Fun for me. Oo, something that everyone hates, your dog is going to poo. Mm-hmm. You have to actually “pick up the dog poo”. This is a law, mm-hmm. Because nobody likes to step in dog poo, it’s just a thing, so please, if you have a dog you must pick up its poo, even in the winter. You think it freezes. Guess what? In the spring it thaws, it gets on Ronnie’s shoe, don’t like that. So you have to pick up its poo. You like my picture here? It’s a very small dog, large amount of poo.
You have to feed it. So, “feed it” means you give it food. This is a special verb that we use only for dogs, babies, and people who are not healthy enough to actually feed themselves. Again, my dog needs some more training; he cannot cook, he can’t drive, he can’t do a lot of things, but you have to give the dog food so we say you have to feed the dog. Some people feed the dog people food-don’t recommend it-but you’ve got to give it some dog food every once in a while. We have to “give it water”. We don’t say: “Water it.” That’s funny, it just doesn’t work in English. And another thing you have to do is you have to take it to the groomer.
Mm-hmm. So, “groomer” is a person, and the place might be called a “dog salon” or a “doggy salon”. What do you think happens here? It’s very strange. So, what happens at the groomer is they will cut your dog’s hair, they will clip or cut your dog’s nails. I’ve heard now that people even get nail polish on their dog’s nails. I think that’s really, really stupid, but that’s just my opinion.
So some people, yeah, get their dog’s nails painted different doggy colours. It’s important to have this because your dog’s nails need to be cut and also their hair. Some dogs do what we call “shed”. So, if a dog sheds its hair, it means that its hair falls out. And guess what? It goes all over your clothes. Some dogs do not shed, which means that they do not drop their hair. They drop their hair? They do not lose their hair, so it isn’t as bad, it isn’t all over your couch or your black clothes.
But even if dogs naturally shed, you need to make sure that you cut their hair. At the groomer’s they’ll give them a bath, too, hopefully. But you should also give your dog a bath. I know my dog hates it. Maybe yours likes it. And last but not least, you can go to the pet shop, and you have to buy some supplies for your dog. You need to buy a leash. So, a “leash” is like a rope, and it’s attached to a “collar”. So the leash is a rope that you hold onto, and a collar is like a necklace that makes your dog unable to escape when you take them for a walk. It’s really funny today because when I was coming here there was a dog who was on a leash, and he was attached to a sign, but unfortunately he was so strong that he was able to pull away from the sign and he was running down the main street in Toronto with his leash and his collar, and a sign dragging behind him in traffic. I was like: “Oh my god, someone see the dog!” But as far as I know, I was able to see, the dog was safe, he was scared.
He was running in traffic, going: “Whoa!” I’m not too sure if he was having a good time, like: “Yeah, chase me with my sign”, or pretty traumatic or scary experience for that little guy. But he’s safe, which is good. So, the collar is like a necklace and the leash is what you hold onto. Most people like to buy their dog a brush so you can brush your dog’s hair, especially if they shed it’s important. Some people buy their dog a toothbrush. Mm-hmm. “Food”, dogs need to eat. Like I said, some people give their dog people food. My dog really likes spicy food. It’s funny, we like to give him funny things and he likes it. We have to buy… Well, we don’t have to, but you should buy a “dog dish”. It’s like a bowl so you can put the water in it; one for dog food, one for water. They like their own things. We can have “dog toys”, so squeaky toys.
“Squeaky” means the sound. And you can buy “treats”. Treats are different from the food. We can call them “cookies”, or “biscuits”, or “treats”, and they’re like little snacks for dogs. We have chips, they have dog treats. One of the best things is you get to buy “poo bags” for poo. Now, because of my wonderful background I call these “jobbie bags”. “Jobbie” is the Scottish word for poo. So, I get to buy some jobbie bags or take them from the supermarket, those vegetable bags that are free, those are Ronnie’s job… Not my jobbie bags; those are my dog’s jobbie bags. I will not pay for jobbie bags, I’m sorry. So, we take the jobbie bag after the dog has pooed, and we pick them up and our dog goes: “Why are you taking my poo? What are you doing?” And then we take the poo and we throw it in the garbage. We are strange people with strange, little dogs. I hope that you have learned about how to care for your best friend. I hope your best friend is with you for a long time, and you can have some fun at the dog park.
Okay, bye. [Dog barking].